Miwok 100k 2012

It just doesn't matter. I wish I could have gotten myself into this state of mind for the Miwok 100k last weekend in Stinson Beach California. I've been looking forward to running the Marin trails since January, but in the back of my mind, a lingering knee issue had been a constant reminder of my definition of failure.

Leading up the race, I had seven very hard and consistent weeks of training. Although, on each long run my knee would get sore after a few hours, it was bouncing back week after week. Hope. But hope was slowly turning into false hope.  This didn’t settle well deep inside me because I knew I would need at least 11 hours on a good day at Miwok.

 Sure enough, the early downhills beat my knee up and in 20ish miles pain set in.  Disappointment rushed over me in an ice cold wave.  I tried to rally my mind back, but couldn’t.  I dropped at the Muir Beach aid station, 34 miles and a second consecutive DNF.  As I waited for almost five hours for my ride, I had mixed emotions. As runners ran though, I felt like the kid who wasn’t allowed to go out for recess, but got to look outside while all the others laughed and played.  Then as I watched not only the lead runners comeback through at 55 miles, I got to see the runners who were struggling but managing to keep plugging along.  That was very inspiring. 

 That brings me back to “it just doesn’t matter”.  Even though I’m not the fastest runner, I place a heavy burden on my goals of placing 10-15^th with anything higher as a bonus.  When I was getting past like I was standing still on the downhills, my soul disappeared.  If it didn’t matter to me, I most likely could have hobbled the rest of the race and finished in the allotted time. The inspiring ones just want to finish.  So, where’s that line? Or, when can that line be broken?  When is just being happy to finish good enough? When is it that it just doesn’t matter?



Thanks Krissy and Reece for putting up my running shenanigans.